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6月3日 What do you have to say for yourself?The more I see of you
The less of you I see
Your face is a blur
Your image obscure
Your essence empty
As a crypt
In a midnight rendezvous
Your emptiness bleeds the soul
As a whirlpool draining
Into the unknown abyss
Underground carrying
The excrement
of wasted life
Humanity rejects you
For your sinful deeds
Your ugliness is bared
Your feeble attempts
To hide betray you
At every turn
Your disfigurement they see
As the stuff of nightmares
Horrific in all its shame
Mothers hide babe's faces
To protect their innocence
Run...hide your
Montrous self
Begone
What do you have to say for yourself? 4月29日 Congratulations........to my one an only love and saviour.
Congratulations on your promotion. I always did say you'd knock the socks off them long before you expected, and once again I was right! ;0)
The title is so fitting, as you do set the direction so well for we lesser mortals to follow. Well done.
I truly can't wait to see you, touch you, smell you, feel you, taste you ... tonight ... when you finally return.
Welcome home my love. 4月20日 32 Questions on LoveThese questions were passed around to the guests in the "salons" of 17th & 18th century France, discussed and debated. These questions, along with other questions or points, and literature, related to the human condition, were the topic of discussion and debate by the aristrocrat "intellectuals" of the time. Interesting to see clearly the inequality of the sexes (see questions 4, 9, 12, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25,31) not to mention the complete elimination of social values since then, as evidenced by the intimation of serious consequences from appearances of impropriety as related to reputation (especially that of a woman (see questions 28, 29 & 31). But overall, if we were to "massage" the questions to balance the equality of the sexes and bring social values up to date, it goes to show that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
by the Marquis de Sourdis , circa 1660 For the Salon Madeleine de Souvre, Marquise de Sable 1月31日 To My Friends...15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 1月28日 InterludeI'm writing thiis short interlude from the purpose of this space, to let loose a bit of a rant so as to divulge my mind of a couple of "prickles" getting in the way of creative thought. Well, here goes.
Now that the election is over and we all know the results, I will say my piece openly out here. I must say, I am sorely disappointed in Canadians in general. Watching all the mud slinging throughout the election campaigns, I still believed Canadians would be capable of seeing through the smoke and mirrors and make the right choice for the right reasons. Apparently not.
So, let's take a look at the decision and reasons. We have a minority Conservative government. That was the decision. And the reason? Was it because the previous Liberal government failed to strengthen our economy? Was it because under the previous Liberal government, we saw a decline of jobs? Increase in unemployment? Tax increases? Was it because the previous Liberal government failed to stand up against the great giant to the south, on issues like softwood lumber? Was it because the previous Liberal government failed to protect individual and minority rights?
Or maybe it wasn't so much what the previous government didn't do, but rather because the newly elected Conservative government had more qualified, experienced candidates, better capable of managing the business that is our government?
No, of course not. If anyone is going to be honest about the real reason for the decision that was made on January 23rd by the "Canadian" people, then we'll agree the only reason was the bloody nonsense of the Gomery Inquiry. And how do we know this? Because the only reason the Liberals lost the election was the loss of seats in Quebec. Had they maintained the same number of seats in Quebec this election as they had after the last election, we would have a Liberal minority once again.
And what a load of unspeakably, thoughtless, mindless, superficial CRAP is that !!! Let's take a real good look at the decision our french "Canadians" made (yes, French Canadians ... Montreal remains Liberal).
So, they want a government that isn't going to grease the palms of their "cronies", as they call them. Well, well. How unbelievably stupid and apparently naive that is! Do they really believe the Liberals are the only party that reward those who support them and put them in power? Are they forgetting the Mulroney government? What? The Liberals "stole" tax dollars to pay Quebec corporate supporters? Stole? Duh! In effect, they put the money back into Quebecers pockets since, by giving preference to Quebec companies (yes, associated with their Liberal friends), they in effect "invested" in Quebec jobs. This is, I believe, what my mother used to call cutting out your eye to spite your face!
Is it right that this is the way the business of government is conducted? No. But, it is a reality regardless which party is in power and we all know it ... at least those of us who've paid attention; those of us that do not take a moment in time in isolation and call it the only reality. The Liberals got caught this time. Let's see how long before the next party is caught. Remember, the Conservatives have promised to put in place a policy of government "accountability". Uh huh. So, those who get caught will be made accountable. Now, is that not an admission that this will continue to happen? Of course! The only difference is that now, if and when any party gets caught, there will be a standard policy in place to make them accountable. Whoop-dee-doo-shit!
Here Quebec decides to "punish" a government that has built the economy of this country to the level of the STRONGEST, FASTEST GROWING western economy, and help elect a party that has no experienced candidates to manage a financial portfolio the size of the Canadian Federal government. Who in the Conservative party, pray tell, is demonstratively capable of stepping into the shoes of Mr. Martin or Mr. Goodale as Finance Minister? Who??? Who in this backwards party is going to ensure we continue to have surplusses and not slide into another deficit position, while continuing to pay down our debt by the billions, rebuilding our social programs, and promoting growth and prosperity?
I mean, this is a party that pointed fingers at the Liberals for:
Yup, in the words of my mother, better to count on less and end up with more in the end, than to over count your chickens and be left in debt! Also in the words of my mother, never spend all your savings, because you never know when a rainy day will arrive! Pretty basic knowledge we all learned at a very early age. Apparently Mr. Harper and his entourage missed out on the basics!!
Their philosophy, as demonstrated by their posturing during this past election campaign, is to :
As for social programs and human rights; you know, those little things that differentiate us as Canadians, well, it's every man for himself. Survival of the fittest and lets get woman back into the home and out of the workplace, eliminate their right of choice over their own bodies (yeah, right...we all need "big daddies" to tell us what's good and right for ourselves! FUCKERS!!), and deny the rights of minorities, including those of gay couples.
Welcome Mr. Bush!!! We too can be American Republican assholes just as well as any God fearing American redneck (aka Republican!).
And as for the NDP, what can I say? They sided with the Conservatives to oust the Liberals thinking they had an opportunity to gain more influence in the House of Commons, and to what end? Even though they gained seats compared to the last election, they lost influence. All the Conservatives need do is keep the Bloc happy, and they'll be able to push ANY part of their agenda forward, regardless of what the majority of Canadians want and need. The balance in the House has shifted such that the NDP's vote means nothing unless allied with the Bloc. Good on ya Mr. Layton! Way to be short sighted and greedy!!! Can you say LOSER!!! Another example of cutting out your eye to spite your face. Enjoy for the time being. It seems your days are numbered.
The previous government was working. It had balance. The Liberals were kept in check but with balance - never too much to the left, nor too much to the right. The budget was well managed and the social agenda was moving forward. What the hell else did we want? Change for the sake of change or revenge for the sake of revenge? To what end? Right! I forgot. We're living in the most shallow, superficial age of cutting our eyes out to spite our faces!
Well, unfortunately, the deed is done and all we can do now is wait and see how soon we're thrown into another costly election.
Canadians, SHAME ON YOU!!!! And don't bother to cry the blues in a few months when things begin to slide once again.
Subject closed; mind cleared. 1月22日 Strangers in a Strange PlaceWhere once there was love,
There is now only hate,
Where once there was laughter,
Tears fall like rain.
Where once there was sunshine,
A canopy of clouds abound.
Where once there was joy,
Cruel sorrow has taken root.
Where once there was bounty,
Misers now keep tight.
Where once there was plenty,
Insufficiency grows.
Where once there was brotherhood,
Division is born.
Where once there was humanity,
Cruelty sprouts like a thorn.
Where once there was honour,
Seeds of deception are spread.
Where once there was God,
Only fantasy dwells.
Who are these creatures,
without souls, without face?
We are but strangers
In a strange place. 1月21日 AbsolutionWhen friendship is rejected,
Forgive.
When greeted by hurtful words,
Forgive.
When felled by a glance,
Forgive.
When trust is betrayed,
Forgive.
When struck in anger,
Forgive.
When defiled in innocence,
Forgive.
And when violated, in mind and soul,
Is there reprieve?
And when rejected by protectors,
Is there reprieve?
And when degraded and humiliated,
Is there reprieve?
And when denied what's yours by right,
Is there reprieve?
And when dreams turn to shame,
Is there reprieve?
And when life loses meaning,
Is there reprieve?
What of the unforgiveable?
Can there be forgiveness? 1月20日 He Said, She SaidHe said,
Come play with me
in the garden of love
Lets be frivolous,
lets have some fun.
She said,
My love is not frivolous,
It's not just for fun.
I give whole heartedly
with truth and sincerity.
He said,
I'll be sincere
honest and true
I want to give
with all my heart too.
She said,
I'll trust then, in you
this risk I will take
With my heart open
sweet love we will make.
He said,
You'll not regret
this choice you've made.
I'll not betray you
for now, I'll stay true.
She said,
My love you've betrayed
to strangers you've strayed
I saw what you did
your true intent hid.
He said,
Ne'er said "I love you"
this was your first clue.
I live my life in
My own special way.
Have a nice day!
1月19日 HealAt great cost
Opportunity lost
Was it love
Sent from above
Or was it lust
Did you feel disgust
Reasons you hide
Degrade my pride
Ressurect my fears
Awaken my tears
Secrets untold
Have made me cold
My risk free life
So filled with strife
I'll not forget
Another regret
My heart is torn
Filled with scorn
I must look west
For peace and rest
Across the ocean
My soul's devotion
Unloved, alone
I yearn for home
1月18日 ConqueringWith every slight you send my way
A thousand angels rock and sway
Their tears of sorrow fall all 'round
And renew again this hallowed ground
With every sneer on your cruel face
A thousand angels smile down with grace
To reassure this heart of mine
I grow in worth , in glory shine
With every stinging look askance
A thousand angels to music dance
Their playful sounds fill me with strength
I persevere, conquer all, at length
1月8日 Seat of My SoulOh, to once again feel the sun's love upon my skin,
To feel it penetrate to the core of my being,
To feel the tangy sting of his kiss, on an ocean breeze,
To inhale his scent, in every tree, shrub and flower
To be assaulted by his beauty, in every shade and hue of colour.
In the dawn of my days, I was torn away from his embrace,
across the ocean to a vast, concrete, plain
But my soul would not uproot, it's stem clinging tight
To my heart and my mind and my consciousness, it's flower
With a promise that one day soon I would return to his bower.
In the twilight of my days, it's stem grows ever taut,
Pulling on my heartstrings, sending a message to my heart
"Come home to me again soon, I grow ever weary, day by day,
Stretched across the ocean, anchored fast and true," I hear him say
I rise to his call, to the memories he invokes, before it's too late.
To the east I look, to a land of sun and ocean, with riches replete
Where once again I will feel his love, receive his kiss and inhale his scent
Where I'll basque again in every shade, every colour and every hue
The day is upon us when his promise shall be fulfilled,
When we will join and lay to rest upon his seat - complete.
BelieveFrom a dear friend....
To believe, is to know in your heart that life is happening exactly as it is meant to. To believe, is to look for hidden gifts in every new day. To believe, is to trust that everything is going to be all right For I believe in you! Guest BookWelcome to my humble abode.
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I hope you enjoy your visit! 1月7日 He Never Said - Chapter 1~ The Beginning
It's been just over two years since that cold October day when he put his plan into motion. I'm taken back to the place and the time when it all began. Little did she know what was about to befall her little world; the world she alone worked so hard to keep together for so long. It would soon come crumbling down. After all the pain and turmoil she'd overcome; was still overcoming, this was not only the last thing she needed. It was the last thing she expected.
It had been a tough year. Actually, it had been a very tough two years. New job, new house, new, abusive, harassing boss, and then freedom. Just when she thought she'd never get out of the situation, she found her opportunity. There was still months, years, of healing to do, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel, however small. And she had begun to reach for it.
It was a cold and wet October evening. After work, everyone arranged to meet at the local bar-come-restaurant for some drinks, snacks and pool. He was there. And she thought she was among friends. She thought. The evening was going splendidly. She even played a mean game of pool, partnering with the client visiting from the south. She sunk the black ball to win the game! The evening started out with fun , laughter and good conversation.
But as the evening turned into night and the drinks continued to flow, she began to feel uncomfortable. One woman had obviously had too much to drink and couldn't or wouldn't control her obnoxious behaviour. The woman cornered her for "conversation" and her so called friends left her with the mess to deal with alone, and moved to a far corner of the bar to entertain themselves at her expense. How humourous it must have been for them to witness her discomfort.
She eventually managed to extricated herself from the obnoxious woman with the excuse of ordering food. It wasn't until then that she realized this would be her first meal of the day. She ordered a platter to share. It was just the kind of person she was. She couldn't see her way to endulging herself without sharing with others.
When the food was served, her "friends" moved to join her, or more accurately, moved to help themselves. They shared the platter of assorted finger foods, all the while making suggestive, sexually explicit comments-come-jokes and laughing at their own cleverness.
How could she possibly take exception to jokes? She swallowed her discomfort for as long as she could but they managed to reach her breaking point. She stopped eating before she'd even really begun. No worries. Her friends would never let her money go to waste.
She was upset and trying hard to hold back the tears of humiliation and, yes, hurt. How could they be so insensitive, especially to her? She'd always been the one there for them anytime they needed a shoulder or help at work or anything at all. How many late night hours did she work alone at that office catching up on work that was missed during the day because one or another of her "friends" needed help? Far too many to count. And here they were again; abusing her good nature, taking advantage, having fun at her expense - again.
One of them finally realized they'd gone too far. He pulled her aside to apologize and proceeded to tell her he was not feeling well. She suggested they step outside. She needed a cigarette as it was. They stepped outside and began to walk down the parking lot while they chatted. He began to tell her that he never meant to offend her and how much he liked her. She replied that she liked him too. He replied, "No. I like you" and proceeded to tell her about the mess that was his life.
He knew her well enough by then. Not a difficult feat. She was open and welcoming to everyone. She hid nothing and wore her heart on her sleeve. This was her downfall. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Her focus immediately shifted from her own pain, to his. She yearned to make everyone happy, and he was no exception. She offered him a hug to comfort him. He took her and kissed her long. She was thinking "Oh my God! Now what? What do I do? I can't pull away or I'll hurt his feelings."
That was her first mistake. He had no feelings but how could she know this at the time.
She was on the road to her own destruction.
I Know Who You AreI know your attire.
You cannot hide within the facade you don as your soul.
I know your tormentors.
They are your victims in whose wrongs you're wrapped, whose stories you stole.
I know what you've done.
All the lives you've broken, desecrated, destroyed, turned black as coal.
I know where you live.
There is no light in the dark, putrid crypt you've chosen for your refuge.
I know where you prowl.
Those lighted paths full of hope and promise, become your lair of subterfuge.
I know your victims.
They are the angels of God, innocent to your game, their tears fall as a deluge.
I know who you are.
You cannot hide, not from me, not from God, nor even from yourself.
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